Tongue-twister Heroine in New Bid for Success with Improved Business Model

Inspiration: On the blog @just-shower-thoughts​, I ran into this little jewel:

Sally is a terrible businesswoman. Of all places to sell sea shells, why would she do it by the sea shore? People can just pick shells up for free.

And I was inspired to write about how the famous Sally had modernized her business model. The result is a short (and less than impressive, I admit) attempt at a tongue-twisting article:

Dublin, Sept. 14 2017 – by Damien C., special correspondent

As most citizens certainly should know, Sally Jessop used to sell seashells by the seashore with her seashell stand and her sweet shy smile. Sadly, she wore her soles till her socks showed through her shoes and never achieved the success she’d sworn she’d achieve. After several seasons with her seashells secure in some secret sector of her basement, Sally’s back with a vengeance, embracing the secrets and possibilities of recent advancements in business processes, tools and technology services, and promising to shore up her struggling venture. And with this, she’s addressing concerns about scores of customers just picking seashells right off the beaches and elsewhere on the seashore.

Sally’s sassy sister Sasha’s had a smashing success as a stunning Website and social media strategist. So with her sister’s treasured assistance, Sally’s stand’s second wind will surely take the seashore by storm. She’s secured serious services to shore up her social media presence. Now, Sally’s stand’s been scaled up to a shop on the seashore, where she’s now specialized in selling a selection of specially hand-selected, stylishly-packaged boxes of seashells. This is specially to ensure the satisfaction of the tourist niche.

For armchair purchasers, she’s now started an e-commerce shop with a sexy design and same-day shipping overseas to over sixty destinations. She’s also started a charity service, where customers can share sixpence on the shilling to support and sustain budding seashell-selling schemes around the world. Her startup is set to start selling shares on the stock exchange within six short weeks. Sally’s success story is seriously inspirational, and it’s safe to say her investment in seashell commerce will set the stage for subsequent aspiring salespeople!

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